Good marriage advice from bad
The truth is, only one person needs to step up as the leader to turn the marriage around. The person that is best equipted for this job, is the wife.
The reality is women have special biological abilities to set the emotional tone of the home and change the culture. You, have a MAJOR influence on whether your husband steps up or not, depending on how you speaking to him and how he FEELs around you. Which means you have all the power. You always have!
Its inevitable that passion dies in marriages over time, and you become friends at best
False. Studies have shown it can be better than the honeymoon stage, even if they were headed towards divorce, IF they learn to resolve conflict in a healthy way.
Never go to bed angry
FALSE. If you or your partner is tired, dragging it on does more harm than good. You’ll say things you’ll regret or agree to something just to make the conversation end. Give yourself a chance to really resolve it with peace and respect as the tone. Which can only happen if your rested and less emotionally charged.
Sex dries up in all marriages
False. If you feel little to no desire for sex (I’ve been there), know that there’s nothing wrong with you!
Of course you have no desire if you are stressed doing too much! On top of that, if communication is strained, you don’t feel seen heard and appreciated, which is the cryptonite for sex.
The good new is this can absolutely improve by practicing two things:
- Let go of control (baby steps. a little goes a long way)
Marriage is 50 / 50
This is the WORST, ARCHIAC, and IMMATURE advice that that is behind most divorce in this world.
To be fair the intention of this from the feminist movement was empowering. But now, we have swung to the other side. Each person thinking they are putting way more than 50% and resenting the other person for falling short. Or, one person putting in 95% and the other person feeling so defeated that they can’t do anything right, so stops trying.
- Before you got to bed each night, introduce a ritual where you say one thing you appreciate about your husband and one thing you appreciate about yourself. Then switch.
Communication is everything
True. Without communication, you cannot express how you are feel, or what you desire. It makes you feel totally misunderstood, right? Of course, the would lead to resentment.
It’s a lonely place and equally lonely for your husband. He truly want to meet your needs and make you happy, but he can’t without you knowing what you you really want.
Tip: ask for what you want and keep it simple. The key here is to set him up so he can win!
Polar opposites are doomed in a marriage.
False. Your similarities makes you friends and good roomates.
Here’s what may surpise you.
Your differences create the polarity which drives attraction. Like north and south poles.
The problem we are facing as modern women today, is we are making it problem instead of honoring our differences. That’s because we just weren’t taught how.
In a thriving marriage there is both similarities and differences.
You can easily start to turn the ship around by expressing gratitude to your husband daily. The key is to celebrate the SMALL things you appreciate about him.
https://www.instagram.com/leadwithjulietran/
You have to make time for date night
FALSE. If you’re bikering on date night and go to bed cold, what’s the point?
But here’s the golden opportunity.
It’s a red flag for you to work on your communication so that date nights are fun and brings your together, instead of checking the box and going to bed on opposite sides.
If there is betrayal, infidelity, addiction, your marriage is domed
False. These are symptoms of disconnection at home. When someone
If the wife takes 100% responsibility for communication in the marriage, she is allowing her husband to slack not pull his weight.
False. When you take 100% responsibility, you become a powerful, magnetic communicator. BAM, you just exploded your ability to influence your husband for the better. And yes, this includes speaking to your husband in a way that will inspire him to become the husband you always dreamed of. He wants and needs your guidance and encouragement!
People don’t change
False, people are continually changing and evolving. Thinking you or your husband will always be the same person puts you both in a box and depletes your marriage of excitement. “Bad” behavior can change with compassion and skill.
https://leadwithjulietran.com/
If your husband is selfish, he’ll always be selfish
False, he wants to make you happy. Ask any man, their greatest desire is to please their woman. It is their purpose. They just need help and guidance on how to do that. It’s up to you to be his guide, so so that he can win, and win. Win win. Paradise.
The only way for marriages get better is through couples therapy.
False. It only takes one person to begin turn the ship around. The couples therapy model is broken. It involves two people “complaining” about each other in front of a therapist. There is no respectful way to do this and only breeds more resentment.
Also the therapist has clinical research credentials, but that is completely different from on the court experience. It’s like being on a basket ball team lead by a coached who learned about basketball, and may be played it, but never won the game. If you choose to go to couples thereapy, make damn sure your therapist actually has the type of marriage you would want..
Happy wife happy life
False.
Happy husband, happy wife, happy life.
Both partners deserve to feel safe, cherished, and happy!
It’s always helpful to talk it out with a friend
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